Friday, May 18, 2012

Tell It To Go To Hell

I went hunting through some old thoughts I had written down. This is from nearly five years ago. I can't exactly remember what was wrong, but I do remember the moment in my hallway...

We’ve all seen it – those old war movies where the battle is raging, people are dying, intense, heart felt music is sweeping our emotions into a frenzy, the camera pans over to the general leading the charge, a moment of sincere thought is captured upon his face, and then he bellows the words of defeat, “Retreat!” Suddenly horns and trumpets are sounding, trying to get the signal out to everyone in the brigade to fall back and find safety somewhere.. so they do.. and leave their dead on the bloodied field of battle.. and run away in a scurried panic as they long for sanctuary.. and this is all a metaphor for life, no?

I don’t know about y’all, but I’m ready to shout, “Retreat!” in my own life right now. I want to run and bury my face in a rabbit hole or maybe just completely fall of the face of the earth entirely and be forgotten for a moment. Not to be noticed. To feel a sense of escape. To literally not exist just for a little while. Ever felt that way before?

Sometimes the absolute ridiculous nature of what life throws at us can make us want to be done. To be finished. To literally say, “to hell with it all” and then just keep walking. And, my friends, today that is exactly what I propose we do. I propose that we stare in the face of the crap, the confusion, the hurt, the waiting, the insecurity, the lack of direction, the hopelessness and we tell all of it to go to hell. Because that’s where it belongs. The things of this world are mere distractions to keep us from focusing on the One who went to hell for us, looked Satan in the face, and said, “You can’t have them. They’re mine.”

As I came home from church today, I was ready to find a hole to dive into. But then the sweetest and yet most painful words came to my mind, “Becca, I did not give you a spirit of timidity, but of power.” 

Damn it! 

He’s right. 

He’s always right. 

And so literally in the middle of my hallway, I remembered myself. I remembered who I am and what I’m about, and that yes – it hurts right now. There are unanswered prayers and questions. And yes, it seems like there is no direction or plan, but Becca, you walk by faith, not by sight. So, yes, sweetheart, look at everything that burdens you, that worries you, that hurts you, that confuses you – everything you have that cannot be solved by thinking too much about it – and tell it to go to hell. 


Keep your eyes up and keep walking.

So yes, life, love – all of it – can be a battlefield (southpark reference anyone?). And sometimes we will retreat, badly injured - because if we stay, we’ll die - but here’s the thing – in the movies, those who retreated lived to fight another day. And in MY movie, they may lose the battle, but they win the war – because I know the director personally, and I know He intends victory for me. :) *cheesiness* 

So, forgetting what is behind me, I will press on towards the goal for which Christ has called me heavenward; I will run my race with perseverance, but I really hope you’re running with me – because I’m going to need your help and encouragement, and you’re going to need mine. Because we’re all one big messed up family in this Body of Christ.. and we need each other. And you know what? That ain’t so bad.

So if any of this even made sense.. hold tight, hang in there, keep your eyes up, and keep walking.. for the God of the Universe goes before us to prepare our way...


When I wrote that, I had no idea where life was going. Presently, I cannot explain how grateful I am for what the Lord has given me. I don't expect serenity and calm forever and ever, but I am no longer afraid of what may come in life. Jesus reigns. Bring it. 

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