We Are All Beggars

Hola, mis amigos!

I've been gone for far, far too long. A whole bunch of stuff going on in life - finishing a thesis, flying all over the country because my husband's received three calls to different congregations in the past 6 weeks, my dad came to visit, changes at work, my grandma's been in and out of the hospital, etc. You all know how life is and have been experiencing it as well. But the real reason I haven't written for such a long time is because I haven't been inspired to say anything.. but I have something to say today.

Many of you know my husband and I live in the mountains up here in Glenwood Springs, CO and have become quite close with the transient/homeless population that resides here. We've spent holidays together, sat with each other in hospitals, broken bread together, gone to court with them, worshipped with them, and have had them numerous times in our home as guests.

So, I've been inspired to write today because of something that grossed me out and seriously disturbed me this morning. We had one of our homeless friends stay with us last night (it's getting below freezing here at night and the local shelter is pretty dang full, and, again, this is nothing new for us, we do this lots). We've known him for at least six months, probably longer, and consider him a friend. So it was quite the shock to me when I got up this morning to open my computer and found pornography greeting me. There were multiple pages up that I closed and I checked the "history" of my internet and yes - there were many different pages that had been visited. I debated back and forth for about 20 minutes as to whether or not I should call my husband and tell him because he was driving our house guest around and I didn't know if they would be together or not when the phone rang. Eventually I called and we were able to discuss what had happened.

Needless to say, there will be words exchanged.

But, that in itself is not why I'm writing. It's only part of it. This morning's events caused me to stop and think about our years spent with this particular community. In our time together, in no particular order, we've had a homeless friend smoke pot in our house when we weren't home, seen another one be ridiculously wasted and urinate outdoors on our property, had an individual show up drunk on our doorstep and hand us about 300 pages of a court document that wasn't even his, one threatened to punch my husband in the face "with the holy spirit," another has prophesied to us from his visions, another has tried to touch my husband's genitals, another has eyed me up and down to my displeasure and discomfort, another had a psychotic episode/breakdown and didn't want to go to the hospital because "they and their king were out to get him," and now one has used my personal computer for pornography watching. Seriously you guys, you can't make this stuff up.

I must admit that when I started thinking about all these things I began to wonder if we weren't stupid and should just cut ourselves off from them and move on. And then something crazy happened..

I remembered the other people I know...




Raise your hand if you know a pothead.

Raise your hand if you are a pothead.

Raise your hand if you know someone who looks at porn.

Raise your hand if you're the person you know who looks at porn.

Raise your hand if you've ever been drunk..

or know someone who has been drunk..

or known someone who has peed in public while drunk (or while sober)..

or says stupid stuff while under the influence..

or has mental health issues..

or hits on girls..

or hits on guys..

or is lonely..

scared..

rejected..

lost..

full of shallow bravado..

Know anyone yet?

I was not pleased in the least to have my computer and my home disrespected with pornography. But I wasn't nearly as upset about it as I thought I should be and that is why I started thinking about all the other crazy things that have happened to us from knowing "these people." I was trying to make myself mad. I was trying to make myself put them back in their proper category and righteously walk away in my disgust and condemnation.

But I couldn't.

I couldn't because "these people" are our friends. We don't have hallow, empty relationships with them. We care about them and they care about us. And yes, they are and can be extremely crazy - I will not deny that. But you know what? Within that exact same group of people who have done all that crazy stuff I mentioned above, let me tell you some other things they've done:

One of them regularly makes me fresh bouquets of flowers so I can have fresh flowers in my house. Another has spread nothing but good will and love about us and our church within this community; he can't stop singing our praises to people who would otherwise not have a clue who we are or where our church is. Another managed to plant, water, grow, and harvest a garden of food for the homeless in our area on our church's property without any help from anyone - and he gave all the food away in a banquet he held in our basement. Over 150 people we have never met were there to honor my husband and I and what our church has done for the homeless community - a homeless man did all that. Another (a former lawyer) has given us AMAZING legal advice. Another helped us paint our church - he probably worked on it many more hours than the rest of us. Another decorates not just our church, but EVERY church in town for Christmas. Another deliberately sat between me and another man because he didn't like how he was looking at me and wanted to protect me. They write us thank you cards. They try to offer us money to help with what they ate while they stayed with us. They make the bed in the guest room before they leave. They've never stolen anything from our home. They've given us jackets and blankets because they know I'm not used to the winters here and don't want us to have to spend the money to go out and get them. They carved pumpkins for our preschoolers. They keep an eye on our church's property at night. They show us pictures of their families spread out all across the world. And I could go on..

I can't judge them and cut them off because "these people" are us. They are you. They are people. We all sin and have done and do things we pray no one will ever know about - especially God. Some of you may have laughed at some of the things I described because it reminds you of your college days. Some of you are still in denial and are making excuses for all the things you have done that were on the list. And that's fine. That can be your process. Whatever. Keep secrets, tell the whole world - it's completely your choice. Just don't think for one second that you and I are somehow superior or inwardly different from "these people."

Because we're not.

At all.

Even in the slightest.

Now, I don't want anyone thinking that we aren't taking or don't take any of these events seriously - we have and we do. We talk with them about it. We go directly to them. There have been times when they have responded poorly or harshly, and times when we've even felt it was appropriate to call the police, so we did. In all but one case we have been fully reconciled to each other and the relationship has only gotten better. I want to mention that one relationship that has not been restored because I don't want you to think we're perfect or think we are the hippest, MOST BEST CHRISTIANS IN THE WORLD!!! or that we've managed to get human relationships down to a science. We haven't, we aren't, we will never be.

I bring all this up to maybe help someone else begin to think differently about the world and what we think we know about it. Scott and I don't proselytize to our homeless friends. Jesus comes up in worship and bible study and all the obvious places, and He certainly isn't hidden or taboo, but honestly He's not who we "lead with" when we're with them. The gentlemen who stayed with us last night has told us before that there are always churches and organizations trying to help, and many of them want to do so in the name of Jesus, but at the end of the day they pack up, get in their cars, and go home. He says he feels like they belittle him in the way they speak to him, as if he's stupid and doesn't know what's best for himself. They come down to the church, serve their monthly meal, feel really good about themselves, and then leave until the next time it's their turn to make the meal. (*DISCLAIMER* *I AM NOT ADVOCATING THAT WHAT THOSE INDIVIDUALS ARE DOING IS WRONG OR UNHELPFUL OR LESS THAN MYSELF AND MY HUSBAND. I AM OFFERING ONE PERSPECTIVE FROM ONE INDIVIDUAL IN REGARDS TO WHAT HIS PERCEPTION OF IT ALL IS*)

But with Scott and I (though MUCH more my husband than me, I often work until 5:30, so I can't make it down there as much anymore), well, we eat with them. We go to the meal with them. We allow the people or organization serving the food that night to think that we, too, are "those people" and need their help. We don't point out to anyone that we're not part of the community, we don't ask for specialties or extras. We come, wait in the line, get food, sit down with everybody, break bread and talk. And through that incredibly simple act, we've not only made friends, we've also been told that they believe that we believe in Jesus because we choose to eat with "tax collectors and sinners."

I'm totally pissed about what our friend did in our home with our belongings last night, but he's not cut off. We will talk to him. It will be awkward and embarrassing. We will all feel weird the next time we see each other, but we will get through it. It's what the Body of Christ does.

I'm not saying go out and meet a homeless person and invite them into your home - we took many months to develop the relationships we have with our friends. We didn't invite them over the day we met them - that would have been awkward for everyone involved. And I'm certainly not saying stop helping people if you're not willing to become everlasting friends with them. There are people who need help and there is a bit of truth in "beggars can't be choosers." Help them - even if they aren't grateful. What I am saying is that instead of looking for ways to organize people into different groups in our hearts and minds, maybe try to be aware at how much we do it in the first place.

What I am saying is that my anthropology professor had it right all along:

People are people.